• Gemma Tighe

The Art of Letting Go and the Power it gives us…

We all hold onto things in life, even when they are causing us pain, fear, anxiety and sadness, we can hold on for a long time to energies, memories, people and places that bring us the said above emotions and yet we all as individuals have the power to let go.

Part of life is having attachments, whether they be people, places, emotions, memories even material things, quoting Rumi “life is simply a balance of holding on and letting go”. Sometimes we grasp so tightly though it causes us further pain, even when we know this is wrong, even when we’re experiencing an uncomfortableness within us from this attachment.

When we hold on too tightly, we stop seeing the bigger picture and how letting go may actually help us move forward in our lives.

There are many teachings and traditions about letting go and living a life free of attachments, in Buddhism for example to love without detachment is a sign of spiritual maturity, this demonstrates that the soul is purified itself and evolved mentally.

I wanted to write this blog post as I think Lockdown 2020 has really given us the opportunity to sit with our thoughts, to reflect on the good and bad aspects of our lives, what we value and what we need and don’t need. For myself it has been a real time of personal growth and a lesson in letting go, when prior Lockdown I didn’t see some of the attachments I had as something I needed to let go of, I didn’t realise some of the things I was holding onto that brought some stability, internally were causing great anxiety and a sadness within me.

You may be asking why do we need to let go? What benefits does letting go bring me? After all life is all about creating and forming bonds and attachments, right?

When we have the power to let go you are taking control within your life, practising this skill and it is a skill trust me, helps us to build healthy connections, connections and attachments that benefit us. It leads us in life to be okay with whatever the path the universe has decided to take us on, even when we’re not quite sure where this path is taking us, it allows us to take the ups and downs in life with more positivity in our step.

It is quite natural for us to confuse connectedness with attachment, when we are attached to someone or something they or that thing can become part of our life and feel part of us, bringing connection. It is what they call the Yin and Yang exchange and this can be healthy, it is when it crosses over into entanglement or no longer brings you joy, this is when it is no longer a connection. We can feel the entanglement in how we feel about that person, place, thing, suddenly the positives they or that brought disappear and other emotions appear that we need to process.

In my life there has been many stages of holding on and letting go, I would like to thing I’m a dab hand and I can let go with no pain or sadness, but that’s not true. My first experience of letting go at nineteen was when I decided a degree in Marketing, Retail and Distribution wasn’t for me. Lost and confused I felt my life path was going who knows where, then suddenly before I knew it I was sucked into the Health and Wellbeing industry, but the desire for education was still within me and I went back to University to study the Arts. In doing so it changed me again, leading me on a different path and on the path many twists and turns and in coming into Lockdown with a new business, which had been running for 9 months and doing some freelance work. I realised quite quickly into lockdown another life lesson in letting go was here.

So how do I let go, you’re maybe asking…

Firstly it takes courage, so be kind to yourself and be patient, when we sit still and take a look around us and what is making us feel good and what is not making us feel good it can be enlightening and heart-breaking all at the same time. Also, just because we realise, we need to let go, doesn’t mean we need to do it immediately, maybe you’re like me… I like to analyse, over analyse and an analyse some more it’s just the logical person that I am. Take your time, make a list of the thing, person, place or memory that is causing you pain, discomfort and write the positives and negatives of this. Ask yourself is it bringing more good than bad or vice versa.

Once you’re aware of it, give the person, place or thing your gratitude and acceptance for what you have learnt from them and let them know its now time for you to move on. You don’t have to contact that person or notify that thing we just simply do this for ourselves.

Sometimes it helps to write a letter to that person or about the place, memory or thing that you’re letting go of and then taking this letter and burning it and saying goodbye.

We can meditate on the letting go, we can even ask Arch Angel Michael to help us in severing the cords, attachments we have been holding onto.

The important thing is to feel what you feel, be present with it, even the uncomfortableness as the German Philosopher Eckhart Tolle states “This too shall pass.”

I’m now in the process of letting go of a path I was invited on, it feels a little sad in ways, but all the time I was on the path, I wasn’t looking at my path. Now with clarity and some relief I am seeing some of the people who were wandering into my path and opening gates in directions I would never have known. If we keep holding on, there is no opportunity to see what opportunities they are and what new paths our lives can take.

So, sit still, be present and take a moment and when you’re ready let go, you may be surprised by what comes in as you release, I know I certainly am.



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